They used to skitter out of the damp
and night, black and hazard orange,
fleeing uncaring tropical rain
for steady lights. Bill caught one,
once and only once. The memory burned
two whole weeks. But in that time
he kept his hands to himself, nursing
his tender hurts, instead of causing mine.
Now he is a man, but I remember still
the brutal boy he was: hard shins
and elbows, too many punches
for one skin to contain. Only when
the fishhook jabbed him
did he start to change. Perhaps
it burned away something cruel, or
he realized that even tiny things
can kindle fire in their blood.
Where else do I store
this memory, without direction?
Some days you can’t feel your hands
for flames.
Staring across the table
and the unapologetic years
we make silent pacts
not to leave. I pass the rice and ask if he wants
more sambal?
He nods
says it reminds him of home.