the platoon commander said that we were approaching the main heights
there were three of us left alive and one of us had lost his arms
I held two bouquets of flowers at the welcoming ceremony: mine and my armless comrade's
but I understood that this greeting was an absolute bluff and the war was lost
in the store it seemed to me that the huge fan on the ceiling was an enemy drone
on the bench near the entrance I covered a woman with a child with my body from fireworks
instead of an aerial bomb
in the evenings I began to pray not to God but to Mercury
in the mornings I began to drink vodka instead of tea
every time I dreamed of going to the supermarket for vodka and disappearing along the way
they showed my former commander on the news, he got a promotion and I got free
rehabilitation with a psychologist
but the money is running out and I need to look for a job again
and at night it seems to me that I am not sleeping but counting the stars on the ceiling
I think about my own death that never happened
but does this mean that instead of me someone else died
but does that mean that no one was born in my place
there are torn off faces and screams everywhere
and I'm standing at the door of the supermarket trying
to find a new enemy that I can kill with my bare hands
however I only manage to find and kill pigeons
the price of vodka has gone up again
i need more money
i need more vodka
i need more work
i need more wars
my medicine cabinet contains aspirin and a gas mask
there's a smell of diesel fuel and dead birds all around